The Burden of Giving

When Generosity Feels Like a Curse

Why do we feel the need to be needed? Why does our existence seem to demand that we serve a purpose in the lives of others? Across cultures and philosophies, human beings have sought meaning through contribution—through being useful, needed, or even indispensable. But what happens when our gifts are rejected? When instead of gratitude, we receive resentment? When instead of connection, we feel alienated?

I have spent a lifetime giving—offering what I believed to be pearls of wisdom, truth, and liberation from the illusions of the world. Yet, more often than not, I have felt like I was casting pearls before swine, watching as those I tried to help turned against me, or worse, dismissed what I had to offer as useless.

The Paradox of Giving: Purpose vs. Rejection

It is often said that to give is divine, that generosity brings us closer to our higher purpose. But giving indiscriminately, without discernment, can lead to an emptiness greater than selfishness ever could. There is a spiritual pain that comes from seeing our gifts wasted, from feeling unseen, unheard, or even resented for trying to help.

So, how do we navigate this paradox? How do we ensure that our giving is both meaningful and received with an open heart? And most importantly, how do we prevent ourselves from becoming depleted in the process?

Discerning Where to Give: Wisdom in Generosity

Perhaps the first lesson is that not everyone is ready to receive. Just as we do not feed a newborn solid food, not everyone is in a place to accept deeper truths, healing, or freedom from the illusions they still cling to. Giving should not be about forcing enlightenment upon others but about meeting people where they are.

This brings us to an uncomfortable but necessary realisation: Sometimes, people do not want what we believe is valuable. In a world driven by materialism, power, and pleasure, offering truth and spiritual awakening can feel like trying to sell water to those who believe they are not thirsty.

But does that mean we should stop offering? Or does it mean we should learn where and how to give in a way that aligns with both our purpose and the needs of others?

Giving Without Depletion: The Need to Replenish

Another crucial realisation is that giving cannot come from an empty well. Many of us give until we are drained, expecting the Universe to automatically refill us, only to find ourselves exhausted and questioning everything. If giving is what gives life meaning, then withholding it feels like a death of the spirit. And yet, giving to the wrong people can feel like we are being drained of our very soul.

This is where faith and patience come in. Perhaps, when we feel that the Universe is giving us nothing, it is actually asking us to pause, to reflect, to be still. Giving should not be an act of desperation but of abundance. And that abundance can only come from a connection to a higher source—whether we call it God, the Universe, or the Divine.

But how does one drink from this source? How do we replenish ourselves when we feel abandoned by it?

Patience and Trust: The Hardest Lesson

Patience is not about waiting passively but about trusting that the right moment, the right people, and the right opportunities will present themselves. It is about knowing that just because we are not receiving now, it does not mean we are forgotten. The hardest lesson for a giver is learning to receive—not just from others, but from life itself.

Perhaps the answer lies not in giving more or withholding completely, but in giving wisely. Not in trying to control the outcome of our generosity, but in trusting that those who are meant to receive will find us when the time is right.

Final Thoughts: What Are We Truly Meant to Give?

I still do not know exactly what I am meant to give, to whom, or whether I should even concern myself with these questions at all. But I do know this: Giving is at the heart of existence. When we give with love, humility, and wisdom, we align ourselves with something greater.

If you have ever felt like your gifts were unwanted, like you were an outsider looking in, know that you are not alone. The world may not always recognise what you have to offer, but that does not mean your gifts are without value. It may simply mean that the right people have not yet found you—or that the Universe is asking you to refill your own cup before you pour into others.